Texas (Scarborough)

April 18, 2009 – 10:17 pm

So once again I’m in Texas performing my heart out on the Crown stage again.
Dreamie and I always look forward to doing this particular faire.  The people are amazing, and the faire is as well.
At first when I came here a year ago I felt a little like I just stepped off a spaceship.  I had this period of about 3 weeks where I had to adjust to performing in a new area, but as per usual I adapted to the situation.  For those of you that don’t know, when you perform around the country as a juggler, or a stand up, speaker, or anything like that, different parts of the country are simply different in what they appreciate.  A line that will work in New York does not work in Los Angeles, a line that works in Los Angeles does not work in Texas, a Texan line will sometimes not work in New York.  So there is a requisite adjustment period.
Also I try to do each of my performances as a bug flinging himself at a windshield.  If I have anything left at the end I have done it wrong.  I think I may have to do some endurence exercises just so I can deliver a full day of shows and still have energy at the end of the day.

I’m pretty much healed from the incident where I cut open my eye on stage a couple of weeks ago.  If you didn’t know it happened you would never know it by looking at my face.
Mostly I’m just happy here.
Dreamie spent some time making a new sign to hang for my show.  When you see it give her some love it you get the chance.  I think it’s cool enough that for many people they just glaze over it as advrotisement, and it blurs into the snow that is the background radiation of our corporate world.  Sometimes we forget that there is an artist there that has to make that happen.

Much more has happened on my journey out here, and I will write more about it.  Right now however I should bed down and try to get some sleep so I can deliver a good show tomorrow.

I think I may try adding some new stuff and see if it floats out there.

By pyrojuggler | Posted in Faires, Life, philosophy | Comments (0)

Best dream ever! I think I learned something.

March 5, 2009 – 1:24 am

This is yet another dream question, or maybe a feeble attempt at conveying something that may not be able to be conveyed.

So again I had something interesting fly through my sleep state. I had another one of those cool dreams that just left questions.

Once in a while I dream lucidly, other times I’m fortunate enough to just have something roll across that is an experience I may not have in real life.

In this particular overtly powerful dream I had the power of the butterfly.

Let me explain; the closest thing I have ever seen or more accurately been aware of was the lack of separation between me, you, and everything. That grand moment where you can feel a part of everything because the separation between you, I, the earth, the sky, our love, our enemy, etc. is all an illusion. When it all comes down to it we are all just knots in the zero point field. There is a very cosmic moment where you are aware that you are one with everything, and everything is one with you. You are made of love, but you don’t normally know it at all times.

In this dream I had the fortune of being intently aware of that connection. For a magical time between going to sleep and waking up I knew how everything fit together in the whole world. It was amazing! A butterfly flaps it’s wings and the consequences cause hurricanes on the other side of the world. In this dream I was aware of the interconnectivity and could simply make choices aware of the higher and greater good. I would move a salt shaker and save a live. I would move a skateboard and prevent a spinal injury, etc. It was a dream of being the coolest superhero ever!!!!

So I guess the question is “Is that possible?”

I mean the connection between all is real, but hard to sense. Maybe you get lucky on a good day and can feel it, but it’s not usual. I wonder if you could hone it and be that guy. It’s a long shot but worth considering even if the answer is no. In the dream I was not just aware, but I could feel everything. This was probably the coolest dream I have ever had in my life. I feel like I awoke having learned something, and had the fortune maybe blinking through the eye of infinity.

I hope you have the fortune of having the same experience, if you have not already. I think if more of the world could have that dream, there might be a little more peace in the world. It’s hard to hate when you are aware that you and your enemy are one.

Take care all.

By pyrojuggler | Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Comments (1)

Day in the life December 27, 2008.

December 27, 2008 – 9:06 am

So another Christmas has come and gone. Family was seen, food was eaten, laughter was had, snow was sledded, and gifts were given. Most of all it was a time to spend with friends and family.

For the last few days Dreamie and I have been a bit more active than usual. She has been shaking her fist in frustration that there is snow in her home town up in WA. Very rarely has there been snow there in her life. She comes and lives down here and gets pictures of her friends making full on igloos in the front yard. So I told her that I would bring her out to the snow for a day. Up on the mountain we found Dreamie’s smile.

We got a hold of Melody packed up and headed to Mt. Baldly for the day. The snow and rain was horrible for the day, but still like magic it stated snowing as opposed to raining on us as soon as we found a useable sledding run. In true California fashion we used boogie boards for the sledding. From there we went strait to the family for some laughs love and holiday type stuff. It’s always good to see my family. Being an only child, and not really having my mom around I don’t have much family. So when I get to see the ones that I have it’s always a mental spiritual band aid.

Certainly more than in some years past I feel like my life is filled with a lot of love. For that I am grateful and happy.

Today, I’m waking up at 5:00 AM and doing some writing. Why I’m up this early I don’t know, but perhaps I can kill this Vampire tendency that has arisen as of late. I have not been able to sleep at night, and crash out in the afternoon. This is not really good for getting anything done.

So I will write this, do some working out, go for a run, eat breakfast, do some juggling, make some calls, and see if I can awaken my life. It’s time to land some work I think, or at least come up with some sort of plan for the year. I have the spring covered, but nothing till then, or after then. I feel like I’m spinning my wheels. Sure my juggling skills are improving, but that’s about it.

Nothing offends me more than squandered potential, especially my own. Perhaps I should do something about that.  One of the reasons I have started writing this is so that I don’t just let days go by and do nothing.  There is something about writing it down that makes you come up with more stuff to write about by living.

By pyrojuggler | Posted in Uncategorized | Comments (1)

Day in the life of a juggler December 23, 2008

December 24, 2008 – 12:28 am

I’m going to start writing this type of stuff down so that my life is not lost in the haze of my own memory.  I know from experience days that are special just fade into the background snow that is our life.  I’m always amazed me that when we look back on our lives they all seem pretty dull and un-amazing no matter what it was really like.  Or at least that has been the case with me.  It’s all these little un-amazing days that mostly make up a life.  That is not to say that some days are not amazing, but it is to say that the least of them are still worth living. 

Today I went outside in the Southern CA cold of around 50 degrees or so and did some juggling with Dreamie.  She wants to get down a passing pattern with clubs so that we can one day do a show together.  She’s close, but she needs to go out there and juggle more.  There was long hair everywhere and clubs flying.

We went to a thrift store and made use of Dreamie’s apparent super power to find cool stuff on the cheap.  This is a handy skill just before Christmas/Yule/whatever. 

I got home and my balls had been re-aranged and one of them was missing.  The mystery begins! 

I sent out a bunch of proposals to different faires.  If any of them take me, I’ll do a bit more traveling and adventureing.

By pyrojuggler | Posted in Uncategorized | Comments (0)

Training

December 17, 2008 – 4:16 am

So I posed the question to a friend of mine “Does training in martial arts become harder with age, or easier with experience?”.

For me it’s both.  Right now for the last year I have been dealing with a stupid hip injury that I could not figure out how to place back till the last couple of months.  Those of you that don’t know I am pretty good at fine tuning bone placement.  The injury pretty much made martial arts impossible for a while for me other than a few select moves.  Every morning first thing I do when I get up is set my hip and lengthen my ankle to get my pelvis to sit right with gravity.  Nothing has ever made me feel older.  Despite this I train every day in some sort of physical conditioning.

So it stands that tomorrow I’m going to try a martial arts class.  It’s been a while.  We will see how I feel in a couple of days.  Wish me luck.

I have had to come back from injury before, and it’s always hard.  I have been hit by more cars than I can count.  I have dislocated knees.  I have thrown out my back a number of times.  I have simply gotten lazy before as well.  All this and, so far, I have always gotten around to training again in some fashion.  Something in me just keeps chugging along.  I wonder if it’s genetic.  Dad’s still powering out marathons.

By pyrojuggler | Posted in Life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments (0)

New Website Launch!

December 15, 2008 – 11:26 pm

So my dear Dreamie has been nice enough to spend the last few days working on a makeover for my website.  Go check it out!   You can find it at http://pyrojuggler.com

Please let me know what you think.  There are a couple of new sections, some changes to old ones, and the fact that this is cross posting to my myspace as well.  (Waves hello to all my myspace pals)

Anyway, show some love.  Give some feedback, etc. 

I will be writing here on my wordpress account more often.  I know I have been a bit lax.

By pyrojuggler | Posted in Announcements | Tagged , , , , , , , | Comments (1)

Awakening

October 20, 2008 – 9:42 am

Here I sit on the computer gasping for breath, eyes sore, phlem welling u within my throat, and awakening.  The awakening is not that of opening one’s eyes in the morning, but a life awakening.  This has been stewing within me for a while, but I think it came to a head this morning as I got off my ass and ran for the first time in quite a while.  You can attribute this to the chemical change from the running, or you can just call it a striking moment of clairity. 
I have a friend with a terminal illness that he has lived with since the moment he was born.  His every day since he was 18 or so has been on barrowed time.  He too is a martial artist into it for a lifetime.  He noticed that he starts to die when he becomes complacent and looses fight.  I thought about this for a while and noticed that is true with all of us as well, but not as easily measurable. 
Death is a natural state.  Sure most of us dread it, but we will spend the VAST majority of time dead.  When you are dead 100 years you have barely begun to be dead.  Treasure now, and make it count. 
I have noticed within myself, if I loose heart and mellow with age, I have an acompanying aging effect.  However if I rage against it I don’t stop time, but I certainly slow down the effects.  As we get older we have a tendency to sit around and do stuff like, well, writing blogs and such.  We don’t spend nearly as much time adventuring, going out and playing.  It seems to me that raging against the dying of the light might be harder, but it’s worth it. 
I think I have been spinning my wheels for a while.  Usually I look at my life and I am aware that it’s me that steps in my own way.  The times at which I was pretty much unstoppable was when I stopped stopping myself.  This has happened a couple of times in my life, and much like most of you reading this sure enough it is my own fear, lazyness, etc. that breaks my momentum. 
In 1994 I was on a rise.  I had figured this out for the first time in my life.  I was indeed on a roll.  Then my fiance hung herself.  This made me pretty much crawl under a rock for a couple of years.  Even when I emerged I never quite started the same momentum.  Then in about 2000 or so I started another run.  This was broken by a year where I was in 7 auto accidents, my girlfriend left out of the blue, and my income was cut into about 1/4 of what it was.  My mind turned to mush for a little while.  Well, more that I was soul sick for a while. 
I feel better all of a sudden.  I felt the snap this morning.  It’s time to get out of my own way. 
Much peace and love to all of you.
May all of you find the same awakening.

By pyrojuggler | Posted in Life, philosophy | Tagged , | Comments (0)

Perspective

July 13, 2008 – 9:34 am

So I went to one of my cousins wedding a couple of days ago.

It occurs to me looking over all the family that family has been lacking in my life for many years now.  I pretty much don’t talk to my mom, and my dad is really the only one I have contact with very much. 

When I was young my dad’s side of the family was very tight knit.  The hub of the wheel being my grandmother (Mam Mah).  Every year at Christmas, Thanksgiving, and usually at least one other time there was a major family reunion.  I think that when my Grandmother died in 1984 it was the loss of the glue that stuck us together.  Now I show up at the family events and I have so many cousins and such that I look around the room and I don’t know who I’m related to. 

Tangent-

I’m mostly just the rumored MAGICIAN in the family.  For God’s sake, I’m not a magician!  Sorry, pet peeve.  I mean, I do know a few magic tricks, but I’m a juggler.  Yet everyone that does not know me thinks of me as a magician.  I’m an anti magician.  I do things in front of people and when I’m done nobody believes that I actually did it.

Then again I suppose if you only know one magic trick, if it’s good enough, you are a magician. 

Example:

Normal person- So you only know one trick ehh?  You can’t be much of a magician.  What do you do?

Magician- I RAISE THE DEAD!!!!

End of tangent-

So I’m there alone, and I don’t recognize most of the people in my family.  I was forced to be there without Dreamie as was dad without anyone with him other than me.  So we are both stag.  The music comes up, people start dancing including the bride that I had not seen since she was about 8 years old.  I am feeling awkward and it has this distinctly familiar feel to it.  Suddenly I realize it feels like I’m in high school. 

I look over and my dad, who is one of the coolest guys I know, is doing the same thing.  It was very back to the future.  He turns to me and said “It feels like high school.”. 

Holy crap, it’s not just me! 

Dad is very cool in not the conventional way.  I mean by standards other than mine, he is cool.  I mean he’s funny, stylish, and has a way with the ladies.  Beautiful women that are younger than me actively pick up on the guy.  Actually he’s usually spent more energy dodging them.  However much like me, if he gets put in with a bunch of normals, he stands out like a sore thumb. 

I too stand out like a sore thumb.  The long hair, dark skin, style of dress, etc. just make me stand out.  That and the second that someone starts asking me about my life, I feel like they look at me as if I’m an alien. 

I suddenly had the realization that in previous generations in my blood line there was that same outcast feeling.  I wonder how far that goes back.

Like I said, very Back To The Future.

Anyway, I forgot why I was writing at first.  Part of the reason I feel so alien is that my life, lifestyle, and work is so much different than most people.

I have relatives that are at different universities,  and a history of being conventionally successful.  Hell, I have a great great uncle that was one of the more respected presidents that this county has ever had.  I have had Chiefs in the family as well as patriots that made history.  I have even had entertainers in the family.  Musicians and Indian medicine show type con artists, and genuine folk heroes are also in my family. 

All this proud history of men and women that was interesting to say the least and still I feel odd having an unconventional job.  I realize in many ways I traded money made for lifestyle, not to mention stories that nobody else gets to tell. 

Usually I’m happy to be the alien in the room.  However when with family, it’s well, alienating.  I suppose it’s just the “outcast wounded kid that comes out even still once in a while” talking.  At the same time, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I mean the whole juggling thing did not start out as a scheme to become rich, or famous, or to even do nearly as well as I did. 

I started as a juggler a long time ago with this question.  “I wonder if it’s possible to make a living in this ancient profession in this day and age.  I wonder if I can feed myself doing nothing but being a juggler.”

So I tried the experiment.  My goal was to survive, not to thrive.  I sometimes forget that. 

I suppose the experiment was a success.  I am just wondering where it’s going to take me from here. 

A man I respect once told me that in order to make it as an entertainer you need drive, talent, and business sense.  If you are missing any of these, you will fail.

So, where to drive to next?

By pyrojuggler | Posted in Life, philosophy | Tagged , , , , | Comments (0)

Cool dream, Odd question

June 12, 2008 – 4:43 pm

So it turns out that I oft dream lucidly.  I have been doing this for many years, and it takes many forms. 
It started off in the whimsical way of me developing a test.  If I’m in a situation where I think I may be dreaming, I try to fly.  If I pull it off, it’s probably a dream.  I don’t launch myself out of a window, or anything that could get me in trouble, not even socially.  In fact I don’t flap my arms or do anything like that.  I simply concentrate and start flying. 
Dreamie has pointed out that a lot of people dream of flying, and we asked around and noticed that most people seem to get better at flying as they get older and more experienced at doing it even in their dreams. 
Anyway, that is a tangent.  Back to the dream at hand;
So I had successfully flown in the dream and come to the conclusion that I was dreaming.  So armed with that knowledge that at root I’m in charge of the reality I experience, I came to the conclusion that in this dream as in many that are that lucid, I am in effect God in that dream.  I can do literally anything.  So the dream reality becomes my own personal playground.  Extra body parts, extra powers, extra laws of physics, lack of physics, super pleasures, etc.  It is a type of heaven and I highly recommend the experience if you get the chance.
So I’m blissing my way through my experience and I run into someone that watches and I get into a deep discussion with the guy on the origin of existence. 
I simply let the cat out of the bag and let him know that all he is experiencing is a product of my imagination and will.  Of course he disputes that, and comes up with some pretty good counter arguments that I can’t remember all of but they made sense.  (Give me a break, it was a dream.  I can’t remember all details.) 
Somewhere while I was talking to him, I realized; How cool, I’m coming up with counters to my own arguments.  The power of one’s own mind is amazing.  Then I though; Wow I’m coming up with counters fast.  I’m coming up with them as fast as I’m coming up with the argument. 
Then it hit me.  The thought that really messed with me was ”I can’t predict the direction of this guys counter!”  I am aware that it’s coming out of my own head, but at the same time I can’t predict what the guy is thinking.  I’m having a hard time keeping up with him, and it’s still me.  More to follow about this, but back to the dream;
So at the crescendo of the dream I posed the question “If this were not of my own doing could I do this?”
I then stepped in front of a large moving freight train and just as it got to me I turned it into a small white bunny.  (Please no giving me crap for how Freudian this moment was.)
He then conceded that indeed, I was the man in charge. 
So I went merrily through my life and time in this verse and at some point I had a group of people approach me with the greatest of dire need.  Word had spread that I was dreaming lucidly and everyone was experiencing, and was a product of my dream.  The emergency was that aliens had entered my dream and were also dreaming lucidly.  Apparently they were wreaking havoc. 
This is where it gets fuzzy.  I remember encountering the other consciousness, and a truly epic battle of matter splitting on atomic levels, time bending, reality collapsing, and the energy of thoughts and boundless unfettered energy commenced.  Right at the point where everything collapsed in on it’s self and even thoughts ceased I awoke.
So back to the question:
This question is how if I was coming up with all that was going on, why did I not know the other side of the guy argument. 
There are arguments of sub-conscious, etc.  However what if what I was dreaming was, in part true?  I mean what if on a deeply primal level our thoughts are being influenced and altered? 
It is my personal belief that we are all one.  This is the closest to god I have experienced.  We are all one, the universe resides within us all, and we reside within it.  When it all comes down to it, there is no separation between you and I, or the sun, the earth, or anything.  We are all one, one is in us all.  In brief moments of epiphany I am intensely aware of this.  It is this that allows for healing, intuition, non-linear time, etc.  The implications are vast if I am correct, and I think I am.
What if the reason I, on the deepest levels, don’t know what the guy is about to say is outside influence?  A collective consciousness between you and I.  What if it is alien?  What if it’s something completely out of our realm of understanding?
What is that?
Then again how boring would reality be if you truly had control over all the aspects?  Thank god we don’t.  Where would the adventure be then?
If you pull off dreaming this way, enjoy….

Sweet dreams.

By pyrojuggler | Posted in Life, philosophy | Tagged , , | Comments (1)

My Texan time (Scarborough)

May 11, 2008 – 7:58 pm

Scarborough Faire:

So I’m here performing my butt off for the last couple of months down in Texas at Scarborough Faire. 

It’s been quite an adventure.  There has been “Yankee Killin” weather, the likes of which I have rarely seen.  It’s only been a couple of instances, but I think the worst of it was when the trailer I was in started to lift from the supports.  It was pretty scary.  I’ll take earthquakes any day over this tornado crap.

There was an incident on the way out here where we broke down and were helped by aggressive hillbillies.  That’s an entire other story that I will write about one day.  The guy that helped us was a lot like the character Boomhower on a lot of meth.

I helped restore and tow a nearly 50 year old trailer out here on some of the most expensive gas in history.  (ouch)

Most of all I performed.  I came out here as a complete unknown, and seemed to have slowly gained a following out here. 

I was sick the first couple of weekends, but performing anyway.  The show must go on and all that, but there I was with a fever of 103 and pouring my heart out on stage to a audience that not only had no idea, but was not as appreciative as I would like. 

It takes a while to win them over out here I’m finding.  It does seem though that, indeed, they can be won over. 

It’s more of a family show out here.  It’s funny, there are several Ren. Faires on circuit that claim to be family shows, but ultimately they fail at it because that’s not what the public really wants in a faire.  They usually want to come out, have a good time, do some drinking, see some pretty women and men, and have a good laugh.  Usually the sexual undertone of the faire is assuredly part of the attraction. 

Here on the other hand we have a faire that people really do bring the kids to as if it were any other theme park.  The Texans seem to really like their kids in their society.  I know everyone likes their kids, but out here it’s almost a religious fanaticism. 

As most of you know, I’m most commonly known for doing a over the top, bawdy show.  So you can imagine reception I got out here at first.  Obviously I had to adapt. 

It took a little doing, but I seem to have altered the show just enough that it goes over well down here.

I just hope I don’t forget the coolness that is the “Adult” show. 

 

I find myself growing, changing, and having a good time.  So things are pretty normal in that regards.  It’s good to be out in a new place learning new things again.

I know most of you reading this are wondering when I’m coming home.  I’ll be back in Southern CA by May 31st.  Keep good cheer, and share it with me when I come back.

By pyrojuggler | Posted in Faires, Life | Tagged , , , , , , | Comments (0)